First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
