Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
