wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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