sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
