It was confusing and full of hummus
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
