But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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