Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
