Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
