You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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