if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
