Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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