I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
How does it feel to date your dad?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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