What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
