Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
