She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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