we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
