Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
