she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
