Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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