finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize