i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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