she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
