She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
