what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
