if i can run in heels then i can drive
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
