the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize