I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
