I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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