She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
