My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
