He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
