with your own penis?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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