Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize