Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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