Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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