South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
