Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
