She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
