Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
