oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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