At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
