Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
