Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
