I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
