so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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