If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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