Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is it penis luge time yet?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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