Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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