i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
