You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
