I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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