you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
