Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
