Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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