What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
