foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
