people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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