So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
