i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
