the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
