i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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