a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
