I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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